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Ludwig



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PostSubject: The joke thread   Fri Mar 07, 2008 10:22 am

Ok i'll start off,
What do you not wanna hear while having perfect sex?

I'll give u some time to think about it Smile
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|GD|Richtoffen
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PostSubject: Re: The joke thread   Fri Mar 07, 2008 11:18 am

Yeah i have one too Very Happy

There was an American man that had an meeting in France. He met a woman and that night they had their own meeting. While they were where having sex, she was yelling, "TROU FAUX,TROU FAUX." He did not know what that meant, but assumed it to be some sort of praise.

The next day, he went to play golf with the men he had the meeting with. One of them made a hole in one. He yelled, "TROU FAUX,TROU FAUX !"

They looked at him and said, "what do you mean wrong hole?"

Laughing
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Ludwig



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PostSubject: Re: The joke thread   Fri Mar 07, 2008 11:20 am

Lol, nice one
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|GD|Heinrich
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PostSubject: Re: The joke thread   Fri Mar 07, 2008 6:55 pm

A sick one


There is two Middle Eastern Terrorists in a bunker in war torn Iraq, after they had been pinned down by the enemy. They were surrounded by the enemys and it was unsafe to leave. Suddenly one guy spoke out
"I really need to take a shit"
The other guy replied: "No, you cant its unsafe to leave you may be shot!"
"I dont care Im going, im not doing it in here!"
So as he said, the first man left the bunker, and all that could be heard was

'BANG' BANG' BANG' BANG' BANG'

After hours of waiting the second man began to belive that he had died on the way out, when suddenly he returned, running into the bunker.
"where have you been!" said the second guy!!?" "I was worried you had been killed!"
"No no" said the first guy, "it was great!" "I had a dump, and after I had finished I met this girl!" "We had sex and everything!"
"Wow really" said the second, what did she give you a blow job too?!!!!!"

"No" said the first guy, "she had no head!!!"


: )
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|GD|Kessler
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PostSubject: Re: The joke thread   Fri Mar 07, 2008 8:23 pm

O Heinrich, that is so stupid but yet I can't stop laughing, nice one Very Happy

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Ludwig



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PostSubject: Re: The joke thread   Sun Mar 09, 2008 12:44 pm

|GD|Kessler wrote:
O Heinrich, that is so stupid but yet I can't stop laughing, nice one Very Happy
Now, its your turn, Herr Kessler Smile
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PostSubject: Re: The joke thread   Thu Apr 10, 2008 6:07 pm

Ok my turn at a joke

So a man is flying a combat mission over Europe. He gets shot down and has to bail out. He breaks both his legs, is captured by Germans, then taken to a POW camp. The first week they have to amputate his right leg. He asks one of them "After you're done, can you have one of your pilots fly my leg over my base in Englad and drop it there?", so they do it. The next week they have to cut off his other leg. And he asks them again "Could you please have someone drop this off over my base in England?", and they do it! The third week, the have to cut off his arm, so he asks them again. This time, the german says "Nein! Dis ve can't do anymore!" And he asks "Why not?". And the german says "Ve think yoo are trying to escape!"

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|GD|Richtoffen
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PostSubject: Re: The joke thread   Fri Apr 11, 2008 4:45 pm

heheh Nice one! Laughing
he was a tricky bastard Wink Smile
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Ludwig



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PostSubject: Re: The joke thread   Thu Apr 17, 2008 12:51 pm

OMG! A HERMAN IMITATION!!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C7QCh-l-EJM&feature=related


Also reminds me to strauss
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PostSubject: Re: The joke thread   Thu May 08, 2008 2:59 pm

The Captain called the Sergeant in. "Sarge, I just got a telegram that Private Jones' mother died yesterday. Better go tell him and send him in to see me."

So the Sergeant calls for his morning formation and lines up all the troops. "Listen up, men," says the Sergeant. "Johnson, report to the mess hall for KP. Smith, report to Personnel to sign some papers. The rest of you men report to the Motor Pool for maintenance. Oh by the way, Jones, your mother died, report to the commander."

Later that day the Captain called the Sergeant into his office. "Hey, Sarge, that was a pretty cold way to inform Jones his mother died. Couldn't you be a bit more tactful, next time?"

"Yes, sir," answered the Sarge.

A few months later, the Captain called the Sergeant in again with, "Sarge, I just got a telegram that Private McGrath's mother died. You'd better go tell him and send him in to see me. This time be more tactful."

So the Sergeant calls for his morning formation. "Ok, men, fall in and listen up." "Everybody with a mother, take two steps forward." "Not so fast, McGrath!"

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PostSubject: Re: The joke thread   Thu May 08, 2008 3:07 pm

hehe "by the way your mother died.." that was cruel Laughing

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PostSubject: Re: The joke thread   Fri May 09, 2008 7:46 am

THE BEST PUT DOWN LINE EVER
For those that don't know him, Major General Peter Cosgrove is an "Australian treasure!"

General Cosgrove was interviewed on the radio recently.
You'll love his reply to the lady who interviewed him concerning guns and children. Regardless of how you feel about gun laws you gotta love this! This is one of the best comeback lines of all time. It is a portion of an ABC interview between a female broadcaster and General Cosgrove who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military headquarters.


FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
So, General Cosgrove, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?

GENERAL COSGROVE:
We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery and shooting.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?

GENERAL COSGROVE:
I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range.


FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?

GENERAL COSGROVE:
I don't see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
But you're equipping them to become violent killers.

GENERAL COSGROVE:
Well, Ma'am, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you?

The radio went silent and the interview ended.
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Ludwig



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PostSubject: Re: The joke thread   Fri May 09, 2008 10:17 am

lol nice one wolf Very Happy
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|GD|Kessler
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PostSubject: Re: The joke thread   Wed Apr 01, 2009 12:43 pm

ive got a joke but it might be slightly of dubious subject matter,mods delete if it oversteps the mark

2 jewish assasins set an ambush where hitler passes at miday everyday
they have everything,guns,bombs,panzerfausts,etc

it gets to 11.55 and 1 jew says to the other,get ready

it gets to 12.00 and no sign of hitler...

they mutter to themselves and by now its 12.10

until finally it gets to 12.20 and one of the jews says to the other "he is late,hope nothing has happened to him"

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PostSubject: Re: The joke thread   Tue Apr 07, 2009 3:36 pm

awesome video, it only makes its justice in swedish though, maybe you'll understand schmidt Wink

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aa5I472Ps90
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